“aNG3L1-c()St0oD11111” is one of the prints featured in my latest series entitled “1MMOBILE.” The focus of this series is the tedious and horrifying feeling associated with sexual abuse suffered firsthand as a child. I wanted to represent that strong sense of vertigo accompanied by a strange stomach ache and tingling in the limbs that, over the years, has accompanied me even in the most unusual situations; precisely those in which one thinks that this state of mind is linked to other factors when, if one digs deeper, it is quite clear that it is caused precisely by that single event in early childhood.
This work is a tribute to the four figures I consider family even more than the people with whom I have blood ties; the starting point for the creation of the work was precisely the photographic portraits of these figures which, after being processed so as to make the individual subjects unrecognizable, I combined with a landscape from my childhood that is dear to me. The random choice of colors was not a move dictated by laziness, but rather an almost maniacal search for chaos: in moments when I realize that a situation takes my unconscious back as if in a time machine, I don't know what awaits me. The only certainty is that chaos is there to hold my hand, squeezing my fingers until they almost break.
With this work, I have tried to create a visual way to speak to the public, to bring the poison that is slowly killing me directly to the eyes of those who cannot understand the silent cry for help of that child who did not speak out of shame, shame at being marginalized by society and by his own family.
“aNG3L1-c()St0oD11111” aims to highlight the involuntary help that the child received too late.
