This is the installation piece from my self-portraiture project "us" .
the small title of this piece is
"----Never miss something you don't have.
----But I already met you cannot stop missing you."
PROJECT “US”
(2012-2017)
Ruya Qian
This is a self-portraiture project completely about myself. I was mentally abused for 10 years from 8-18. During that time I was living a quite isolated life, so myself to me, became an important also maybe the only partner. Over a decade, all kinds of emotions accumulated inside me and I could be exploded anytime. This project becomes a outlet of my emotions. It’s the excreta of my soul.
I always argue with myself. Sometimes she was...shy and quiet,
another angry and grumpy, one sensitive and emotional, one numb and cold blooded, one sad and lonely, one timid and useless and one bold and reckless. These sides of me are constantly struggling and fighting with each other. These conflicts can take me to a very dark place. It is time to bring them into the light.
Self-portraiture is always a complex proposition. How much do you reveal? How truthful can an image be? What mask are you wearing?
May you and yourselves live happily ever after.
Most of works are pack film double exposures, then scanned and reprinted by 33x24cm, transparent acrylic framing or silk-mirror installations. There are 4 pieces of writing I wrote with the works, but only showed in public twice, once as an audio.
