“The Last Judgement” from the series 'Adam's Lament'
Preface.
I began to hear the sounds of the surroundings only recently. The war began, and the birds sang. They sang at night. After the black stakes of Adam's crying, after the gnashing of teeth – we remained alone. Void and pain - what do they say? - pain I sing - pain I sing - pain I sing - cuts and splices - ornamental incisions on the skin - dark coldness of the sky - huge black body staring straight ahead, I am at the edge of the window, on its ledge - the abyss. No – it is silence and it's a terrible noise. Noise, and the ropes prepared, the strings tightened - we are here today - pain singing pain. Bang and hurt bang and pain bang and pain. They have learned to tell the sound of coming in and the sound of going out.
I have learned to detect the sound of their hushed breathing. But no, you have not learned at all. Where is that space to 'breathe in before you begin to speak'? To feel the presence of the one you're talking to. The space that does not need to be named, but you know that it is there, to turn around freely, where we come as a crossfader: is to suture and cut, suture and cut.
We are here all together now. And we are singing the pain, we are singing the pain. Muteness. No, no one tells me. No, no one tells me. I hear the rhythm behind me, I hear the cheerful voices, I hear the walls, their swaying - noise and noise - I hear the shroud in my eyes, I hear myself gasping, I hear myself screaming, I hear the nails hammering my hands into your eyes, Adam. And this is my place out in the endless field before the black organism - I do not care if you take me – I have been violated for thousands of light years. Like a final chance at life.
And the birds were no longer birds
and now the birds are not birds only.
To listen.
“The Last Judgement” is the latest work in the Adam's Lament series.
The surface expanded forward, immersing and embracing me (and then the viewer). I try to fight the pain and anger with the dark side, in all their totality, in which they could only exist - will I be able to bear them - accept them - almost physical violence - nothing compared to their loss. But I probably broke down at that moment. I was burned to the ground. But perhaps the seed, having died, dead to the past, will give rise to a new path. The beginning of a new path.
