This painting is a part of the serie I have created during
the period of 2022/23. The idea of presented works is based on intimate experience.
At some point in my life I fall into the problem of anorexia which initiated
completely new reflections in my head. That disease turns the consuming from an
intuitive activity into something fully controlled. I find it interesting how
anorexia falsifies the mind and creates a particular image of beauty which
stays against the biology. The nourishment gives the energy to our bodies and
constantly keeps us alive. At the same time the disturbed brain says the
complete opposite and puts the eating into the meaning of weakness. Anorexia is
a constant balance between the physical human needs and the false impressions
of the mind. On the one hand the food is the base of existence and on the other
the fictional enemy which stays against the beauty. The experience of that
eating disorder thought me the real value of human body. I think that its
essence is based on physical power and abilities not just pure visual
aesthetics. Food is necessary to build the strength and be able to existence on
every level of life. The real beauty means the ability to live fully with using
all our senses. My works are dedicated to the power of human body. I want to
show it as a source of energy and force. I believe that the body is much more
than just the matter. It is the connection between the outside world and the
world of our soul and emotions. I learned its meaning over the time when I was
going through a period of anorexia. For me that chapter is a source of
knowledge about my own physicality and self-love. I want to show the huge power
which is hidden into our bodies. I focus my fascination into the beauty of
feminity and maternity. It is specially important topic to me because the
pressure over my appearance which I got as a woman is a source of my eating
problems and the disease which took my health away. In one moment during the
illness I lost my menstruation because of the lack of nutrition and energy. To
this day I try to take it back. I believe that this is the symbolic moment. I
was seeking to reach the great beauty which turned out to be completely fake.
At the same time I lost the real and important value which was always a part of
me. In my opinion the ability of creating new life is one of the most beautiful
phenomena that exists in the world. In my paintings I place the figure of
human in the surrounding of the universe. My intention is to show the great
importance of the body - as an object towering over the material world. I
want to emphasize its power by showing it next to the nature and outer
space. I give it a divine and otherworldly meaning. My art is a tribute to
the body which I destroyed by myself over the time.
