As a child, before going to sleep,
when the world around you begins to sink into darkness, but you don't feel
sleepy at all yet, you lie in bed and your gaze wanders around the room. It's a
fragile time of half-awake, half-sleep, when everything is reshaping. Shadows
thicken, cracks in the ceiling become gorges and endless sandy roads. But the
most interesting stories unfold on the carpet. Half-flowers-half-beasts weave
in frivolous dances. The thickets part and beautiful valleys open to view, with
rivers and lakes, and a castle on a hill.
For a very long time I was looking
for a way to translate my childhood memories into artistic form, and one day,
by some miracle, I found that very rug from my childhood. The ornaments of the
rug inspired me to create a video, which became a gift for my inner child.
That's when I felt that I had an artistic and psychological tool in my hands
that allowed me to rediscover joy and meaning in life, to look at the world
around me with curiosity and wonder.
Then it was February 2022 and I
moved to Sri Lanka, immersed in anxiety and fear of the unknown. Visiting
Buddhist temples and looking at the stone vaults of ancient caves, I noticed
drawings so similar to the carpet designs from my childhood.
The darkness of the temple was quiet
and warm, like a mother's womb. Sitting on a rock and hugging my knees, I heard
a melody inside me. It was a lullaby, and I began to hum it, too.
I felt keenly that a lullaby, one of
the oldest songs on Earth, is a way of supporting the inner child from our
inner parent. The child only creates and rejoices when it is safe, when it is
held by the hand and comforted - tomorrow will be a new day, and everything
will be okay, because I am with you.
We miss that so much in adulthood.
The lullaby tune was the missing
element in my work. Now the puzzle is complete, and the inner child and the
inner parent finally meet.
