Art and life come down to one simple principle; value first. My grandpa taught me the vital importance of honoring values at the age of seven. He was an art teacher who had spent his life meticulously studying and practicing the art of making art. What do I mean by the art of making art? I am referring to the fine line that allows for an artist to teeter between a passion filled artistic path, and a spiraling barrage of internal self-conflict, indecision, and rejection. Making art is an art that each artist must come to discover on their own. For my grandfather, he uncovered his process though what he valued most in art. And back to the simple principle, he valued value. When it comes to painting, one must begin with an identification of the main values apparent in the overall composition. He would teach his students, my seven-year old self included, the importance of training ones eyes to understand and distinguish value shifts. And he insisted that before entering the world of color, the values must be mastered. Color can be distracting, and flashy, and in painting landscapes or portraits, just like in paving ones own journey in life, though the flashy colors may be enticing, they can also be misleading. And so, the goal was set for me as a young painter, I must master the basics; value, color, and composition.
Each class, I entered eager to paint something 'fun' and each class, my grandfather set me up in front of an easel and instructed me to repaint the color wheel and to practice value sketches till I saw the grid ringing in my periphery long after I'd lifted my hand from the page. I wanted to be a master painter, but my grandfather reminded me class after class, that in order to break the rules, you must learn them first.
I followed rules well, and thus began a journey of aligning myself with the rules of expectation, of societal belonging, of normative behaviors. I excelled in high school and followed logic over passion into a major in Engineering. I became like the rest and blent into the crowd. And in doing so, I became a ghost of myself and a haunting image of an unidentified other. In truth, I became so focused on mastering the rules of the system, that I forgot the simple rule; value first. What were my values and my priorities? And why had I abandoned those aspects that mattered most to me? I got lost in the distraction of color, of the "show-off"/"fit-in"/"succeed at all costs" mentality.
So I stepped back, just as I do with every painting. I took a new perspective on an overworked scene, adjusted my focus to blur out distractions and returned to the intrinsic values, which remained.
Each month, I try to reflect on my top three values in life. Where do I stand today? And how can I align the rest of my journey to match up with those values that matter most to me? In this moment in time, my top three values are these: 1. Purpose 2. Passion 3. Calling
I believe my purpose, passion, and calling all intersect in one major facet of my being - my art.
I am applying for the Arte Laguna Prize to continue living in accordance with my purpose; value first.
