Fidan

Vita Larissa Fidan Wagner
Born in St. Pölten, March 1970
Education/Training: Interior designer, ceramist and social worker
Exhibitions: Mark Salzburg, Schloss Traismauer, Stift Zwettel, Paradise in the City St. Pölten, Galerie Feinsinn St. Pölten, Living St. Pölten, Thannheiser Mühle Würmling, Praxis Komosny Wien
Awards: Austrian Interior Design Award 2018/Museum der Moderne    
Salzburg,NWW Neue Wiener Werkstätte 2017/Winner of people‘s voting

A very personal interview and some biographical facts, slightly different:

What kind of people and events have shaped your life? There are so many. And the number of them and it’s increasing daily. For example
Dr. Rihak, the neighbour of my childhood – whom children were not allowed to talk to! I did it nevertheless.
Waldemar from Texas, the phenomenologist. whom I got to know some time ago in the train from Munich to Salzburg. He told me how inventions are brought to this world and what I should be aware of.
A Rabbi in Israel and his red ribbon. There was a name for this special ribbon - Kabbala -…
The Egyptian from the bazaar, who, after having raised some quarrel, invited me to his home and showed me the Pyramids, stinking like „the greatest toilet“ in the world, because he was living at close to them.
My daughter and her father – who both ripped my heart out.
Andreas, my lover, who put it back in.I leave him again and again to fmyself. My heart, it is indeed a little battered, but it’s worlking – I live – I love!!

Who was at your side in important situations?
Well, Roswitha usually is always here.
 
Which experiences have changed you in a positive/negative way?
When I lost my child. My one and only child!
And when I found love which I had never expected in an alcoholic person, including the best physical and mental experience, the awakening of all senses – oh my, how sensual was that? So strikingly intensive …I took a deep look in  his soul and he in mine!

Which changes happened originated by you and which ones by others?
Floating in the river was my way – society as the shore showed me its boundaries, not mine. My never stopping and at least useless attempt to make this world a better place turned out to show no effort of mine.
I should have killed them all – but I don’t like violence … and blood only on my own lips, soft in its consumption.

Which decisions did you make deliberately?
Saying goodbye to fake people, letting the past lie, trusting in God and imagining fear and loneliness exclusively only as an abstraction.

What have you dreamt of?
Leaving an imprint here on this earth for eternity!

What has been fulfilled (and what has not)?
That imprint does exist! Even in some hearts, but it is not serving eternity.

Which goals have you been aiming at?
My goal is not aiming at goals.

Have you reached that?
You have to ask someone wiser then me. Why … or why not? Yeah, good question: WHY not …?

Where do your priorities lie?
Being true and loyal to myself, without looking back on losses, even if they include people. Because if so they had no meaning for my life anyway.

What is important to you?
Appreciation, respect, attentiveness, solidarity. Only I find those just in some rare and deeply hidden places.
I want to be able to do what I like – designing things and new creations!!

What do you wish for the future?
Living from my work! As the Austrian singer/songwriter Wolfgang Ambros puts it in (German) words: „I want to stay human, don’t want to be sold like some product … Not everything having a value must have a price - but try to make people understand that!“ I could puke and cry every time I realise what people are willing to do for that fucking money – there are different things that really count.   

Is something missing in your life?
Yes. The Arte Laguna Prize.

How will your future life turn out?
You are invited to witness the rest or come on and help to shape it, too.
You see, I am floating in the river … still.