third person

The first time I ever saw myself "on screen" was at the early age of 4 years old. I was having issues with my family and they recorded my every move. This particular piece reflects seeing myself in a vulnerable space in the restroom at this time and age. I painted my skin pink to portray hiding within myself during the filming. The camcorder was the same one used, and the set was built around the green restroom, minus too many details, as memory often softens and deletes all but the key memory. I remember the toilet, green tile, and camera. Seeing myself for the first time without being in a mirror felt surreal and estranged, especially during the circumstance. A plastic mask was placed over my face for this portrayal, to show how truly censored and outside of my "true" identity I felt.