At some point, I noticed that there are too many burdens. I already knew that it became heavier and heavier, but I could not throw it away. I have not been able to dispose of it on time because of the burdens I had made I could not have been able to move my body. I went through all my concerns and found them to find what I really need. In other words, it was necessary to dig up my ego to sort out the real in which my desire and the others' desires were entangled. That is because the obsession with the burdens easily lead me to social myths therefore the 'self-image' made in such a way was distorted and then settled in the unconscious. That was the shell around me and the ideal self-image that I want to be recognized by others. It makes friction that occurs when I cannot face my nature but try to meet social needs. When I realize that I misunderstand my 'ego' I have a chance to face my 'nature'. To dismantle a self-image means looking at myself just as I am.
By crushing my clothes, I have a time of mourning while sending off my past time. If you avoid the work of mourning over the sense of loss that you have experienced in your life, the sense of loss may rise to the surface after a long time. So, I needed to go back because it did not make my life go forward.
Cutting my clothes is not just a breakup but a work for the extinction of all the factors that interrupt me from being as I am such as the social myths, customs, and prejudices that ruled me. On the other hand, it is also a process of accepting my senses, emotions that have been alienated and rejected.
** This work was created with a real name(Kyongseon Lee). I have used 'Ajin Lee' as a performance artist since 2019.
