This painting is an interpretive self-portrait that conveys the emotions of a hurt inner child and the feeling of being a sacrificial lamb. I was inspired to create this painting to channel negative feelings, particularly in regard to the men who have been in my life.
From my father to boyfriends, there have been times when their actions hurt me so deeply that it felt like the little girl inside me was being bruised. Whether it was my father, whom I looked to for love and guidance but who sacrificed his time with me for work, or boyfriends who took advantage of my kindness and innocence, seeing me only as an ego boost or another box to check off their list, these experiences left lasting scars.
The central figure in the painting represents me, with her big eyes emphasizing her childlike nature. I placed her next to a lamb to convey themes of innocence, purity, and vulnerability. By utilizing texture, I aimed to add an immersive experience to the piece beyond its conceptual meaning. The texture represents how "real" these feelings are, making them a tangible feature on the canvas.
In addition to feeling like a sacrificial lamb to people who meant and mean a lot to me, I have always felt as if my feelings were never taken seriously when I spoke up for myself. The texture underscores the reality of these emotions. The field of flowers and bubbles floating around them creates a whimsical atmosphere that would appeal to a child, contrasting with the girl’s somber expression. Although she is a child, she is painfully aware of her surroundings.
Creating this piece has been a healing experience. Being able to pour my emotions onto a canvas and tell a story through visuals has renewed my spirit of confidence after feeling so low for so long. I hope the audience connects with this piece as deeply as I do.
