This painting started on the western banks of the Mississippi River in Montrose, Iowa in the fall of 2019. I was driving from the source of the Mississippi River in Minnesota down to St. Louis down the slow river roads, drawing the River with river water and india ink, camping and sleeping in my car. This was my final morning on the River. The night before was wild- I made some biker friends and caught a glimpse of an American beauty that felt quite absent and cathartic in such divided, hostile times. I stared into the silver grey river, it was wider than I’d ever seen it. 3 days ago, I had walked over the River’s beginning in 16 steps. The painting was quiet, just eyes moving with the water, and the brush moving with eyes. My mind however was not quite right, climbing out of the river, onto the road, mythical Highway 61. I had to drive to Nashville today and my heart was buried by a thin layer of mud as the river rushed by. My thoughts gave way to the music that pulled me out here, Son House, Dylan, Bruce, Louis, Buddy, Jimi, Jazz, Blues, Country, Rock and Roll, the classless, spiritual freedom loving sound that ran up the River and rang out into the world.
I brought it out a year later in NJ, after a rough day of plunderous self work. Love, forgiveness, violet magenta light, green sea stones from a small beach in Italy, spring storms, little tea roses- every thought that was causing me pain and the systems creating these thoughts- all of it I put into the circle, covered with holi pink (pink of the madness of love) and a hot purple. The dry blue dahlia that Ziggy (my future wife) had given me back in SF had lost most of its petals, and it was calling now to burn. I had to be careful to not strike the match too soon, for too soon and everything would burn, out of control. Lighting the Dahlia on fire was an act of self forgiveness, transforming our wounds into power, empathy and healing smoke, and soon the star was burning purple, shining with resurrected Love. Purple stars are the hottest and hardest stars to find since our eyes see so much more blue, or they burn so hot into ultraviolet light, the purple behind the darkness.
What was overwhelming yesterday - ash in the river.
What was overwhelming yesterday - burning into life anew.
Love burns, Love lives on.
