I wrote the poem Burn while on magic mushrooms after my beloved pet cat of 10 years died on 28/12/23. I imagined that we are all like flames in the spiritual world, light beings, and at that moment all I wanted was to burn away from this world and not be in pain anymore. It was because I found out it is a scientific fact that hearts and clocks stop when they approach the speed of light. Our loved ones turn back into light and they help us see.
I am still devastated by my loss and trying to heal which is why I have done more paintings this year. During my trip I cried for 3 hours, and wrote this poem as all I've really wanted to do since I was born was return to my creator and be one again because this separation has always felt strange to me. I also want to be with my cat again.
On another day, I started to look into the etymology of certain words and connected everything together in this painting. I am trying to get across the following concepts:
We are all sons/suns of God
We need the pain - tings (things) because pain is a part of the human experience and we have to learn from pain, rise above the pain, from the root chakra to the crown. Our pain is Apt - exactly suitable for our individual human experience. APT - A Pain Ting
We have to rise everyday like the sun, rise from our beds, elevate, raise our frequencies, rise through the chakras.
We also need to burn like the sun, because calcination is the first step in alchemy, burning all and leaving behind the ego. Die daily and rise daily.
The phoenix is the bird of rebirth, burning, dying and is reborn, rising from the ashes. The phoenix dying represents the ego death. The word rise actually has one of the definitions: to return from death. Rise has many definitions.
The past tense of rise is rose, hence the rose rising through a path of thorns, and a rose curve is a sinusoid in mathematics, which also looks like a compass which is representing direction, guidance and balance. Roses represent love, which is also required to be able to rise. A moderate purplish red is another definition of rose, which in my opinion, red to purple is the full journey of enlightenment- root chakra to crown, red to purple.
Another definition of the word rise is the distance between the crotch and the waistline, which to me represents the root chakra to the sacral chakra, which represents the order and the starting position of which we rise from.
The blue Egyptian god Amun is sat atop the wheel of fortune, which fortune is in our favour if we rise. Blue is the throat chakra which is I SPEAK, so I wrote "I just wish the cost of living would stop rising" as a prayer to Amun or Amen, the 'King of the Gods'
The word East comes from the high german Ostar which is linked to Aurora which translates to light. I believe God is in the direction of East because God is the light. Many religious theories also say God dwells in the East, of the garden of Eden for example, which is the same direction that the sun rises from each day.
The word East is translated from Latin Oriens, and the constellation Orion is kneeling in the sky. Another definition for the word rise is to assume an upright position especially from lying, kneeling, or sitting. Some people say we come from an ancient star on Orion, and the pyramids also point to this constellation, which is why I included Orion.
Ty means thank you. That's what was missing while I was crying and writing the poem burn, written on the flames. Being grateful is key to rising through pain. I like writing the secrets and keys on the sides of canvases, as it symbolises that sometimes the answer is not right in front of you, and you have to look at things from a different perspective to gain clarity.
Also I glued the sun card on the yellow orange and red flames because those are the lower chakras we rise from, also this whole painting is about the sun. I thought it was a good synchronicity that the sun card is numbered 19, and this is the 19th Art Laguna Prize, which I knew nothing about until I accidentally clicked on a link and I decided that was a sign to apply for it - that the painting I'd just finished, had the same number as the competition.
I usually have a plan or in my mind how I want my painting to look, but this one I just enjoyed creating and didn't really think about it too much and let it flow. Hence why it's a little... squashed ?
You can read the poem easier in the light, but it reads:
I just want to throw everything in a fire
And then myself
And become something else
Become the flame
Dance with the flame
Dance as a flame
Burning bright
That's what I truly am
That's all I can be
But you say go and have fun, enjoy,
But I just want to return
And burn
With you for eterni (ty)
The more I look at it the more I hate it and want to redo it.haha. I only really like the phoenix and the rose and I can definitely do better!
