Enchevêtrements (Entanglement) 2020-A collection of objects and elements mixed together in a disruptive way. Enchevêtrements: exactly what I have presented in my paintings.... Read More
collection of objects and elements mixed together in a disruptive way.
Enchevêtrements: exactly what I have presented in my
paintings. A collection of experiences and feelings intertwined with each
other, in certain dimensions of time; through colors representing the nuances
of sentiments, and architectural elements which are the images of my perceived
The purpose of these paintings was to reflect
the views from my window, the places where I like to walk, have fun, hide, and
The idea for this work came to me during the
quarantine period of the pandemic of Covid-19, more specifically, from the need
to feel free. In my "enchevêtrements" I started to find all the
colors that I missed in life. I relived the difficult moments that I refused to
remember, and the feeling of freedom I was looking for was not just to get out
of the walls of my apartment, but to feel the freedom inside me, to forgive
myself and those who have smudged the monuments of my memories.
Growing up in Kosovo, was a real struggle – I
say this now, in retrospect. To give a clearer picture of what I mean by this, I
want to share two main events of my life, which at the same time serve as two
static points, before and after which all of the events in my life have turned.
The first one being the consequences
of the war in Kosovo in 1998-99 and the second one my arrival
in Paris in 2018.
Starting with the first, even though I was a
child, I was old enough to realize and memorize all the experiences during the
war. I still feel the burden of my jacket, in which my mother had hidden food
and some money, in case our fortune would separate us.
20 years since the war, Kosovo continues to be an open prison. Always
post-war period in Kosovo is quiescence – a stagnation; we do not talk about
the war, and sometimes I even have had the impression that everyone has
forgotten. I have also refused to think about it, but despite the fact that I
do not want to feel a victim of the past, it was one of the periods where I
have had some of the strongest emotions I have ever had.
to Paris was a completely different experience; it was the first time in my
life that I was completely alone, completely lost. I felt very different and
quite scared but this time around my concerns were not existential, so I took
period has enabled me to get to know myself. Far from home, my mind was
constantly working on all the new experiences it was receiving, and too busy to
open up – but I began to try to open my mind slowly.
conversations with peers from university, I noticed the consequences and
traumas of my childhood. I was very impressed at how passionately they talked
and discussed the wars and historical events in France, which they had only
read in books or heard from their grandparents. And I, who had seen the horror
with my own eyes, spoke of it as if it were a simple "soirée" which
did not impress me much. And at the same time, I was comparing their passionate
stories read and heard, to the “casual” tragedies I have lived.
burden began to weigh on me, yet I tried hard to ignore it, as this weight
prevented me from fully enjoying Paris, a city I had always dreamed of and had
now fallen in love with.
realized, that in order to get rid of this burden, I had to go back and relive
all my fears, the stories of my elders, and the history of my country from the
first proven sources.
the struggles I have had become my strength, my love and my hope for life.
Sometimes, for better understanding we have to get out of the box and to try to
look it with somebody’s else eyes.
My love for art history, studies in ancient
sciences, and my experience in archaeology enabled me to lay the
groundwork for my paintings, and then little by little, I added more layers, I
did so until the imagination branched out of all the forms, buildings their
windows, and colors that enlighten my paintings as much as myself.
With strong contrasts, bright colors and
minimal details, I try to give each of these dimensions the same importance. By
combining warm and cold colors, melted together inside the figures, I managed
to cope well with the entanglement inside me and created in my way, “my perfect