When you are a person who always throws everything into doubt, it is sometimes very difficult to understand what other people really meant. No matter how paradoxical and contradictory it may sound, the idea of this work appeared very spontaneously. Being very anxious, I often reflect on the topic of the past and especially past relationships (I sincerely believe that all the people who took part in my life in one way or another left a deep imprint on me). And once I was sitting with my young man and caught myself thinking that I was not wondering if this person loves me. I just know this and for the first time I do not need additional evidence, because his words, which are supported by action, are more than enough.
However, that feeling of uncertainty and fear remained in my memory, and I knew that if I did not transfer it to paper, something bad could happen. Therefore, guided by this ephemeral feeling, I first made a sketch in the phone notes (this is my favorite habit), and then took up a large format. In this work, it was also extremely important for me to convey the consequences of such a relationship. After all, we most likely were initially uncomfortable in them, but more sincere feelings or banal interest did not give us rest. A little later, the toxicity increased, and we became more and more blind. We could not understand that the person opposite us causes us permanent pain and thus forces us to engage in self-reflection and blame only ourselves for everything.
There is a lot of symbolism in this picture. For example, is the main character the same person? I wanted to convey the idea that sometimes our abuser can be not only another person, but also ourselves. It is extremely important to love, respect and appreciate yourself, because only you will be with yourself all your life, no matter what.
The abstract background is a hint of the surrounding world and the relationships of people living nearby. We know that everything is going on as usual, but we don't fully realize it, although it certainly has an impact on us.
Flowers in a vase are the hope and eternal growth of a person in mental and physical terms. A person is mortal, but the feelings that he gives to another person are much more valuable than it seems.
And the text. It was taken from the beautiful and beloved novel "Foam of Days" by Boris Vian. It adds absurdity and surreality to what is happening. However, one of the main storylines tells about the love of the characters and the sincerity of their feelings in this crazy and wild world.
It was extremely important for me to show a person's search for answers and not necessarily the right ones. My main task is to highlight such problems as self-acceptance, sexuality, objectification, discrimination, love, disgust, body-positive, etc. Therefore, I chose this particular work to represent my artistic creativity. After all, this topic is close not only to me, but also to many other people who are asked a lot of questions every day and continue to live in this dynamically developing world.
