My name is Isabella Maureena Bonvini, I'm 19-year-old Brit who
has lived in Spain her entire life [practically]
I love learning languages and
art, as I believe that they both are unique forms of communications that I
learnt early as a child, to express the suffering I felt inside of the 'bubble'
I live in here, the 'Marbella' bubble. Because even if you stand up for what is right,
which I did many times as many classmates I witnessed being bullied severely
for how they are, being different to the norm.
I defended myself and I got used to being in my own solitude.
It doesn’t matter how many high grades, empty validation, never works.
That hole, I wish, gotten smaller in everyone.
They fill it with alcohol, drugs, pleasure, food…but loneliness is a
disease of the 21st century; it’s in the human condition to want companionship.
I see things through their perspectives.
I see bullies who have horrible
livelihoods at home,
I see victims being tortured for who they are; even if
they cannot help it.
I see bystanders, powerless as if they help, they will get
destroyed in the process.
I see others, who find satisfaction in seeing other people suffer.
Then I see people who refuse to be unkind to someone who is
suffering.
I realised at a very young age of 8, that no one was ever going
to stand up for me.
Even if I asked them, they were hesitant due to the struggle and sheer willpower to pull through it unscathed.
My siblings did so, regardless.
But there was only so much
they could do.
So, I learnt to be mentally strong since I was 8 years old.
This art I post is something
that are my experiences in a nutshell.
I hope with my story and this
art, I can tell people, if they fight, they will win.
Fighting to the bitter end,
not giving up.
No matter how easy and how
tempting it might be,
Someone told me,
Your life isn't yours to
end.
You have people out there who
will be horrified if they find out you're dead.
Which I thought was a horrible thing to say to suicidal people
but, it’s the scary truth of it all.
I remember going into a assembly after a guy took his own life
in Puerto Banus, after an overdose and severe bullying.
I remember how sad his
friends and family were, hell, sad doesn’t even begin to describe how they felt.
It made me realise that day, it doesn’t matter how hard things
get, I will fight to the bitter end.
Which I did, with help, as my God, a person I understand God to be, helped me.
Because all it takes, is to believe in something that accepts
you for everything and supports you nevertheless.
You don’t need friends who are fake, people who say they love
you, when they do the opposite.
You don’t need to put up with people who you think you ‘love’ because if
you stand up to them, you get crap for it.
You need to stand up for you.
Because at the end of the day, the person you’re really living
with,
Is you.
And if you can’t accept yourself and refuse to live with yourself,
pretend being someone you’re not, Life will throw you the worst shit
imaginable.
Trust me,
I would know.
